they don’t tell you that it’ll be this hard.

that i will be stuck missing you every single minute.

that day… those days… were perfect days. days where i lived and laughed and knew happiness, thrived on happiness, was immersed in happiness. each subtle moment that blended into the passage of time still takes my breath away.

they don’t warn you of how bittersweet everything is. how late night phone conversations become your most treasured link.

how there’s a constant ache in my stomach and my chest because i miss you. 

and everything else means so much less without you here. 

i miss you.

i miss you. 

i miss you so much. 

i’m grateful that i have you to miss. because every time i think about it i wonder how this happened, why this happened to me. and i’m terrified for the future… not because i might get hurt, but because i might hurt you, and that thought sickens me. you amaze me in every way. i don’t know what you see in me. 

but i see so much in you.