11.9.2008

God is amazing. I seriously can’t express the depth of gratitude I’m feeling toward Him right now. He has rescued me from so much and brought me into His light, and it’s the greatest feeling, the greatest reality I could ever experience. In the midst of so much frustration and stress, insanity and craziness, God has given me this incredible, amazing peace in His plan and His future for my life. 

The questions are endless and they all come at once. But lately, I can’t explain it, but it’s like God has switched off that broken record in my head, and I just know that everything is going to work out. Maybe not the way I want it to, but the way He does. And that’s so reassuring, so amazing, that I’m still awed by it. Just the fact that God even cares about me blows my mind. After so many struggles, and so much pain, I know that I’m His, and that is finally enough for me. And yeah, I’m still having struggles, and some days are rougher than others, but I’m held in the hands of the Father, and that’s the best place for anyone to be. 

I’m realizing again that on my own, I’m never going to be enough. But God doesn’t call me to be enough. He just calls me to realize my brokenness and overwhelming insufficiency and lay that at His feet. And He promises that in my insufficiency and my weakness, He is enough. I’m resting in that promise. 

God is so good. I deserve nothing and yet He gives me everything. 

I’ve been so completely in love with life lately, I’m marveling at everything, at how amazing God is, at how many ways He has blessed me, at His incredible love. He is so, so good. 

I think we all get caught up in trying to pull our lives together, and be in control. To hang on to our charade of perfection when we’re falling apart. When we’re stressed and overwhelmed, we try so hard to pretend the opposite. But I don’t think that’s what God wants. In His immeasurable strength, His immeasurable grace, I think He just wants us to stop fighting, and let His grace rescue us from ourselves, our weakness, our brokenness. 

“18 I have seen his ways, but I will heal him;

I will guide him and restore comfort to him,

19 creating praise on the lips of the mourners in Israel.

Peace, peace, to those far and near,”

says the LORD. “And I will heal them.”” - Isaiah 57:18-19