It’s been too long since I’ve written. I find that too often I neglect writing because it requires me to think - to analyze the thoughts that I try to set aside. I’m good at coping with things, which can be good but also means I don’t process things like I should. It’s a blessing and a curse.

I’ve been stuck in a funk lately. For months now I’ve felt lonely. I’m beginning to think that the most dangerous lie we face is the one that persuades us that we are all alone. We were designed for community, for relationships, and setting them aside isn’t natural.

Last night, a lot of things hit me, and in my usual way I stuffed them away in some corner of my mind. All through work today I ignored the way I felt. But I can’t run from the truth for long, and tonight it’s all catching up to me.

I believe that the story of Grace is a story about relationships. It’s a story about emotion. From a practical standpoint, grace makes absolutely no sense. And that’s the beauty of it - it doesn’t have to. I feel like Christ’s death on the cross was, in essence, an invitation to community. It’s not in God’s nature to abandon His children - He doesn’t ask us to walk this path alone. I’ve been so crippled lately by feelings of abandonment. But tonight, I’m reminded of grace.

It’s like, through Christ’s death, a new future was forged for us. One that asks us to set aside secrecy and lies, loneliness and sorrow in exchange for life. I believe that to follow Christ is to accept the challenge of discovering what it means to truly be human. We are made in the image of God. Three in One, He embodies community, companionship, love. We aren’t meant to be alone.

Tonight I’m reminded that God asks me to set aside my fear, my doubts, my need for something or someone other than Him. I’ve been challenged lately to discover who I am in Christ - who He wants to be. It is difficult, but over and over again I’m wrapped in His grace and reminded that He’s here. Not a passive bystander, waiting for me to figure everything out. He knows me. He knows me and loves me anyway. He knows me and He wants community.

I’ve been fighting a lot of battles lately. Wondering what to fight for and what to let go of. But tonight, it all seems all right. Because no matter what, He’s here. How He loves us. How He loves me.